Disappearing

 "The day he first told me he 
was starting to disappear I
didn't believe him and so he stopped
and held his hand up to the sun and it
was like thin paper in the light and
finally I said, you seem very calm
for a man who is disappearing and
he said it was a relief after all
those years of trying to keep the
pieces of his life in one place. 
Later on, I went to see him
again and as I was leaving, he
put a package in my hand.
     This is the last piece of my 
life, he said. take good care 
of it and then he smiled and was
gone and the room filled with the
sound of the wind and when I
opened the package there was
nothing there and I thought
there must be some mistake 
or maybe I dropped it and I 
got down on my hands and
knees and looked until the light
began to fade and then slowly
I felt pieces of my life 
fall away and suddenly I 
understood what he meant 
and I lay there for a long 
time crying and laughing at
the same time. "

Brian Andreas
Story People


This poem took my breath away. It describes the way I feel, perfectly.

Poison

People say True Love isn't real. Or, they say you can't experience it until you've been with someone for a while. They have never experienced True Love and only until they do, will they understand.
I have only been with him three weeks total, in my life. I don't regularly talk to him, for reasons of his own. My friends tell me I'm in over my head, or obsessed. But they just fall into the category of the unexperienced. I do not speak out of arrogance or pride, just out of a matter of fact. I feel something for him, I've never felt before.
Forget the lust, sure it's there, but the feelings run deeper. They're feelings of sacrifice, patience, grace, peace, and LOVE, true, deep, penetrating love.
When I do think about him, I get weak in the knees, sick to my stomach, and dizzy in the head, but its because I know there's something special about him. No one compares and no one ever will. He is my True Love and it will take a miracle of God to change that.

My Darling "Carl",
I miss you.

I'll Just Live Like I Always Have.

The feeling of deep pain and hurt, pure joy and peace, and total and complete emptiness have permeated so throughly, these past few months. Some would say "you're just young, your emotions have the upper hand." Others might comment that I don't know what I want or that I can't make up my mind, but I have been pushed and pushed until my frail heart breaks and breaks again, and it causes me to wonder if I'm all alone in this world.
And from what I've learned, the words of people are equivalent to dust in the wind. Their not looking to help you, their looking to advise you. Their not wanting to comfort you, their just looking to glorify their own intelligence because the opinions of others is what "truly matters the most."
Sure, people have their pains, we all do. However the fact is, is that we have no clue how to begin handling these pains. We resort to what we perceive is best without considering their feelings, and instead react off of their emotions. We draw from what we know, why wouldn't we? Of course we would, because that's all we "know", but we're not the only ones walking around this earth. We know much more then what happens past our own noses, but since it does not DIRECTLY apply to us, we excuse it, claiming we never knew it in the first place.
For these reasons, I hate humanity. But isn't that hypocrisy? I'm human, aren't I? I have no right to judge, and I won't. But sometimes the lack of feasible reality is absurd. Don't people realize there's more to life then themselves? That there's more to life then their 14,000 square foot houses, Benzes and Ferraris, and SURELY life isn't all about little league and the next big promotion?
I am and never will be content with what I have. I live under the influence of a materialistic world that will never give me the privilege to know what it feels like to be truly blessed. The feeling of joy, grace, and love only comes from the One who dished it out in the beginning, but I will continue to live without these feelings unless I let go of the things I think I want and welcome the things I need. Then, I can allow every good thing into my life, but instead I will sit here and let my in-content, anger, and want for change bog me down. Therefore leaving me as the rest of humanity- just another person with "my pains and my problems."

You should go read...

THIS. 

This is a blog that my best friend Rebekah and I use to write letters to each other, please read and follow us!

Thanks so much!

Take Me Home.

To Paris, France...

Just A Feeling

Its just a feeling, just a feeling, just a feeling that I have. It will happen someday... someday. 

I've got it too...

I HATE admitting this, but I really do have Bieber Fever. I really thought that I could hold my ground, but sadly that is not the case. He's so talented and seems to have a sweet heart; however, I do not think he's "hot" he's just cute. That's more then a lot of girls can say...
All that to be said, this is my new favorite song by him (and Chris Brown). ENJOY!

Next To You

I'll be thinking of you, 'till all the days are through

Every one, this is my precious and most gorgeous sister. I was blessed to spend last week with her and enjoyed EVERY minute of it, throughly. Lauren has the most happy, caring, loving and sweet spirit. I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful sister, role model, and best friend.
I love you Neno.

Just a Thought

Have you ever been really hungry for something, but you couldn't figure out what it was? And after thinking about it for a while you think about a certain person. You finally realize that you're not hungry at all but that empty feeling in your stomach is the lack of butterflies that used to be there, when that person was around.

My Life As of Late

      
Most of my time lately has been spent with my best friend (top), hiking with 15 of my closest friends, going to camp, and hanging out with even more friends. This has been an unforgettable summer thus far and I know it will be still when its over.

Every Teardrop is a Waterfall

Generally, I get bored with Coldplay. Don't get me wrong, they're a great band but I feel that their style doesn't change enough. At least for my taste. However, this song is amazing and I can't stop listening to it, let me know what you think.

More Questions.

Why is Dr. Pepper SO addicting? Why does my hair blond so much? Why is Johnny Cash so wonderful? How does God love me even still, after all I've done? Why is camp over? Why are Sour Patch Kids so delish? Why does the sight of my feet, the taste of tang, or French make me want to cry? Why is it so fun to sit in coffee shops alone? Why can I hit better with my Pitching Wedge then my 7 iron? Can I have a Jesus Jam sno cone from Josh's, now? Why is it not football season? Why is Tulsa, Oklahoma the best city in the whole world? Why are boys so crazy? Why am I not in a math class of any kind? How do I eat so much? Where the heck is my dog? Why does your own bed feel better then any other bed? Why is college so close yet SO far? Why are Chi's so expensive? Why do I not have my car?

If you have any answers to these questions, please let me know. I'd be glad to take a stab at yours, too.

P.S. HAPPY FATHERS DAY TO THE BEST DAD IN THE WORLD!

I'm dreaming of...

These beautiful beaches and far away places.

Love, Sally

Dear Readers,
I am Rachel's laptop, Sally. I'm sure many of you enjoy reading her blog, but really. Where would this blog be without me!? Rachel and I have had some wonderful times together. She's always using me and sometimes overloading my batteries but that's okay, we're such close friends that I don't mind because I know she appreciates me. But really. How could she not?! What's not to love about a cute white laptop, with a yellow bow? I wonder sometimes.
Rachel asked me to fill in for her this week, she mentioned something about being busy studying for finals, but I'm convinced otherwise... Anyways. You'll be hearing from me for a week or so!

I'll be here eating my cookies, before they eat me.

Love,
Sally

Percy

I am obsessed with Percy Jackson & the Olympians. It is by far my new favorite book and maybe even movie. Along with that (and probably more so) I am totally in love with Logan Lerman. Mock me all you want, but he's a doll.

Summah. Hurry.

Dear 92% in English, could you come up one point so I DON'T have to take the final? Thanks. Dear Tuesday Uniform, I'm sure the rest of the school despises you, but I don't. You're so comfy... Dear Friday 27th, HURRY UP. I WANT TO SEE MY BEST FRIEND. Dear Chi, please stop being so expensive and breakable. I need another one. Life without a straightener is sad. and miserable. Dear Daddieo, I can't wait for our boating trips, grilling excursions, ice cream parties, you singing to me in the morning, rocking out to the Kings, car washes, and weird faces (and chillin' in telephone booths) t-minus 11 days.

Have a happy NCIS, Tuesday!

Its Saturday, Saturday gotta get down on Saturday!

Dear Saturday, I love you so much. I always sleep better then night before a Saturday and the thought of getting up and drinking a nice cup of tea, catching up on my blog reading, and actually eating bfast is just so great! Thanks.
Dear Barnes and Noble, Do you have many other teenagers who go sit in the children's section and immerse them selves in books that they should have been reading 10 years ago?
Dear Rain, after a few days of sun I have to say, I'm very glad you're back.
Dearest Bestest Friend, its days like today, when I don't have much to do, that I long for your company. I can't wait to spend my summer (and the rest of the summers, for the rest of my life) with you.

What section do you automatically go to in Barnes and Noble?

Photography by Jeff Young

Flyin' Loerke Style

If you don't read this blog you should... This couple is such a good example of a healthy marriage. I enjoy reading their blog and I am going to be unoriginal and write letters this whole week, just like they do.
Here it goes...

Dear Nicki Minaj: I am obsessed with your song Super Bass. Just sayin'. Dear Best Friend, (aka 2nd Biff but really) I've been thinking about you so much recently. Tonight I wanted to tell you about how I really liked my hair and that I saw a creek named- Caleb's Creek- and I almost melted. 2 weeks...
Dear Summer, I can feel the warm sun on my skin, endless sno cones, camp, no shoes, FBC, hanging with the old man (daddy), the best and the sister, and no sleeping. Hurry. Dear Sleep, you've been weird lately. Why can't I just fall asleep at a normal time and stay asleep? Dear Maroon 5, you amaze me. Your new CD is exceptional and I can't stop listening to it. Thanks for the good beats.

Have a spectacular Thursday!

Well. That's cool.

Ya know, life has been good recently. Its been crazy and sometimes I really want to scream, but that doesn't mean its not good. Summer is so close I am starting to smell it! My best friend and I have talked TWICE this week. TWICE! Can you believe it?! I also talked to my sister for a glorious 2 hours. You know that when you call your sister and she says, "I'm not busy, do you want to skype?" its going to be a good day. Good week. Good year. Ya dig? I love my sister, just so ya'll know. 

Last night I went and saw Thor with my mother and 5 dear friends from school. Let me say, if you like some good lookin' man, go see it. Now. I mean the movie was exceptional, and we all really enjoyed it but... oh man. 

I hope you're having a wonderful weekend and don't forget to tell your mother you love her. 

P.S. Here's your reason to see Thor

Can I get an AMEN!?

If you just smile...

Have you smiled or laughed today? If not, find something to smile or laugh about. Life is too short, ya know?

Some of my favorite smiles (sorry mom and Lauren, I don't have any direct smile pictures of you, but you're favorites too)

I sat with my mouth open

when I saw... these.

The Chicago pictures are my favorite.

Time

Lately, God has blessed me immensely with an over abundance of time. Time is something I've always struggled with, the one thing I don't feel I can catch up to but He (in only the way He can) has been providing me more time to sit back and breath. I feel this time allowance is an insensitive to read my Bible, since I have become so lax in that area; however I also feel that He's taking away the stress of everyday and giving me time to simply enjoy life. For this I am truly grateful. Praise God for time.

Hope you had a bearable Monday!

"And then the senior boy walked by and said, you're fat"

I have the worlds bestest friend. You probably think you do too, but no one beats my best friend. We haven't been friends all our lives (though we will be) but she is IT. There is no one else that compares to her, she's always been there and she always will be. I love her more then words can say,  I hope she knows that... but I love her because of her wonderful attitude, he kind and meek heart, and her outgoing personality. I don't know why but she puts up with all my craziness and insanity, but she does and I have an amazing respect for her. She's just my favorite person and that's all there is to it.
Best friends are just wonderful, ya dig?

Who's your best friend? What's he/she like?

I love you so much my darling interpreting redneck.

Hallelujah, I love her so

Dear Friends,
Since today is my dads wedding day (insert happy party time, here!) and since I LOVE music with all my heart, I am going to take the time to tell you what you need to be listening to.
I'm so nice sometimes it kills me? Okay that's not true, what I'm really trying to elude to is that I cannot contain myself when it comes to music. I just can't. So here, on this very wedding-ly Saturday indulge yourself with some good tunes.

What?

I'll shut up now, here's the stuff

1. Fleet Foxes- Fleet Foxes (MAGICAL CD)

2. Modest Mouse- Float On

3. Kings of Leon- Come Around Sundown (I can't get over this CD, it doesn't get old)

4. Ra Ra Riot- Ghost Under Rocks

5. Mat Kearney- Fire & Rain

6. Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble

7. Here We Go Again- Celebrating the genius of Ray Charles (Willie Nelson. Wynton Marsalis. Nora Jones. AMEN!

8. Esperanza Spalding- Chamber Music Society

9. Tears for Fears- Songs from the Big Chair (and my favorite band will always be Tears for Fears...)

10. Jason Mraz- The Remedy

Love,
Rachel

Paul David Hewson

Everyone. This is my hero, Bono. Well, he's one of my heros... But who else do you know who makes glasses look THAT amazing and who can't really sing but is one of the best rockers the world has ever known? Who can scream "In the name of LOVE!" and who can take care of children in Africa and be totally cool all at the same time!? Bono.
When every other girl in America (and everywhere else, for that matter) is screaming about JBiebs, I would out scream them for Bono. And Bob Marley, but that's another story for another day.

Who's your celebrity hero?

Somewhere Else

I've been dreaming about summer lately. I wish it would just come tomorrow... Spring is so wonderful, but I want the freedom of summer. PLEASE HURRY SUMMER! Please!

These were the best times in my summer, I'd give a lot to have them back!

Aspirations

Do you ever think to yourself, "Wow, that's really cool I think I'd like to do/ try/ experience that." That thought crosses my mind daily and instead of dreaming about it, I think of a way to accomplish my dreams.  In a way, I have a long laundry list or bucket list of things to do, but my list is not a conglomeration of unreachable aspirations, its a list of to do's. Stuff like getting into a really great college, an internship I've been considering, studying about certain subjects, ect. You get the idea; however, there is so much more than the basic "bucket list." I want to draw my own map, pinpointing the places I plan (and might end up in) to visit. I also want to learn about tea, the different flavors, ingredients, and how to grow certain tea leaves. This was so inspired by my cousin who wants to do the same thing, thanks Evan. Along with these random "things to get done" I plan to run a marathon during college, doing the MR340, (a 340 mile kayak race across Missouri) learning a few languages, becoming a genius mathematician, learn about architecture, and a few other things along the way.

I have recently been realizing my youth and taking advantage of the full life ahead of me to accomplish much and become something great. People who have paved the path before us, great men and women who did something with their lives did not get up one day and save the world. Instead they worked. They worked hard and they had a burning desire to be great. They knew certain tasks cannot be done alone, decisions are best made when decided with other people, and the importance of putting others first. These great leaders knew that they could not eat an elephant alone or at one time. 

Because people encouraged me, I want to encourage others to set goals and do the seemingly impossible. 

Will you still find me? Will you still see me? Through Smoke.

Before the truth will come to fill our eyes
The wool comes down in the form of fire
And when the answers and the truth have cut their ties
Will you still find me?
Will you still see me through smoke?
Through smoke

I was born in a house in a town just like your own
I was raised to believe in the power of the unknown
When the answers and the truth take different sides
Will you still find me?
Will you still see me through smoke?
Through smoke
Through smoke
Through smoke

When their whispers have painted pictures that
Make you doubt what you once believed in
paper stories that hide the glory
to keep up searching
Through smoke.

Who do you believe when you can't get through?
Through smoke
When everything you know seems so untrue
Through smoke
When I'm lost in a place that I thought I knew
Through smoke
GIVE ME SOME WAY THAT I MIGHT FIND YOU.
Through smoke

Who do you believe
Through smoke
everything you know
Through smoke
When I'm lost in a place
Through smoke
Give me some way...
-Needtobreathe


Please read every word, this song has spoken to me in so many ways. 

Oh, Facebook...

I hate Facebook. I love Facebook. What?
Well, I'm detoxing for about a month, like I did the past two months. I love not getting on Facebook; however, it's not very exciting because of the oblivion you suffer as a result. Though NOT getting on Facebook allows me to:
1. Make good grades in school.
2. Do chores. I love doing chores?
3. Write the support letters for my mission trip and actually finish the essay section on my New Life Ranch application...
4. Talk to my sister. If she ever calls back! Hey! Lauren call me back.
5. Organize my room.
6. Study trigonometric ratios and special triangles ( I. LOVE. MATH.)
7. Watch movies via skype with my darling best friend.
8. Re-bake those applesauce muffins that I originally failed at making... (Note to self: Never talk to your sister and give her guy advice while baking also, baking powder and baking soda are TOTALLY different)
9. Finish the Percy Jackson book that we're probably paying 40$ a day for.
10. See 1-9.

What's something that unintentionally consumes your life?

Conqueringbitebybite

Hey friends, my dear best friend Rebekah just started a blog and its definitely worth reading! Here's a link, so reeeeeeeeead.

conqueringbitebybite.blogspot.com

SUMMER HURRY UP.

Its been really nice outside... which makes me think of summer... and then I want to start crying because its SO close, yet so far away...
Tulsa. Rebekah. Other best friends. Not sleeping often. Super tan-ness. No shoes. Lots of ultimate. Endless time with friends. Shorts. Lots of rap and Jamaican music. Books. Movies. Junk food. Going to bed in the morning. Movies. Tank tops and T shirts galore. Camp. Living on planes. Beach. SNOCONES from JOSH'S! and many many more wonderful glorious things... Oh summer please hurry.

Doorway to My Heart

This past week, on the most wonderful spring break of my life, I discovered I am totally and utterly in love with Peter Pan. Yup. Peter Pan, the young boy who lacked the maturity to accept life and with a will of his own refused to grow up. Growing up is difficult and sometimes the thought of it makes me want to go hide in my closet and cry; however, on the other hand I have an appreciation for the mess of life we find ourselves in as we advance through life.
But  that is all beside the point... I just love Peter Pan and there is not much more to say on the matter!
Have a wonderful week, and a quick spring break recovery.

Sheep on a rainy day

I have so much homework and NO time for consistent blogging. Lame ducks. But I'd like to take the time and say that today I am abundantly happy and thankful for sweet, funny, wonderful people who keep my world going 'round. And Justin Bieber... who's been serenading me (with his girlie voice) and keeping me a live and aware!

Okay, I'm not really listening to Justin Bieber. That was a joke. I am listening to Mumford and Sons, that's the REAL shizzzz. (And Esperanza Spalding)

Amen?

AMEN!

Justin Bieber, you're okay. But you do sing like a girl. I like your songs Down to Earth and Up, but besides that you annoy me. Just sayin. I hope you're not reading my blog...

Awkward.

Peeeeeeeeeeps

Today I am thankful for the gift of people. The Lord has been teaching me that there are many kinds of people in this world, not all of them will I get along with, and not all of them will I like. But I can love them. Our battle is not against each other, our battle is against the Devil and the false ideas he puts in our head. Sometimes your friends will not be a picnic in the park, but God placed them in your life for a reason. I am glad I have wonderful people to talk to everyday and brothers and sisters in Christ that I can fully rely on.
Thank you Lord for people and friends.

6 days!

Today I'm thankful for my health. God has blessed me so much in this area. I'm happy to say I only have slight back problems and nothing else. The Lord has put His hand on my life in more ways then my health (many more) but today I am glad I don't feel sick or unwell.

7 days

7 days until I go home. I can't express how excited and thankful I am to return to T-Town. I miss that wonderful city and the even more wonderful people who live there. For the next 7 days I am going to blog about 7 things I am truly thankful for, the last and most important falling on Saturday. My true home and family.

Today I've been thankful for the rain. The rain invigorates me and it couldn't be anymore beautiful. Rain gives me comfort. I love driving in it, I love looking out the window and watching it fall.

What's something you're thankful for?

P.S. 7 days until I get to hug my sister and best friend. AMEN!

Oh Happiness!

Life has been so interesting lately, I've been super busy and hysterical the past few days. I've said things I've regretted and I've taken quizzes that have made me cry, BUT there is a light at the end of the tunnel. SPRING BREAK IS 10 DAYS AWAY! Can you believe it? The only sad thing about this is that I have 9 days to get my GPA up to where it should be...

Anywho. The sun is shining and its not 20 degrees outside, its almost Friday, there's good music to be listed to and a Sonic iced tea in my hand. Its a pretty good day. 

I hope you're having a good Thursday!

I'M ALIVE!

Hey friends, guess what?! I am running on 4 hours of sleep currently. This week was insane... It involved stressful paper writing, skyping every day with my dear best friend (therefore not getting much writing done), discovering new and amazing music, my other best friend having medical issues, an awesome Mentalist episode, and good times with my class. It was a crazy but very good week. Anyways... to expound on the music amazing-ness, this is what I have survived on the past few days.

1) Brand New- The Devil and God are Raging Inside of Me. Can I get an amen?

2) Boyce Avenue- Teenage Dream

3) For Today- Breaker

4) Simon & Garfunkel- Cecilia

5) Sufjan Stevens- The Dress Looks Nice on You

6) Wakey!Wakey!- Clinton Street Girl

7) Tears For Fears- Break It Down Again (this was the greatest, and will remain the greatest song ever     written, ever)

8) Say Anything- Do Better

9) Lady Antebellum- Need You Now (I listened to this band long before my move)

10) Anberlin- Younglife

This is the stuffs guys.

So Sorry

Hey kid,

I'd like to take a minute and say I will not be actively blogging until Friday. As dumb as it is, school has to come first. And there's a lot of school. I hope you have a very merry Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Until then, take a break and listen to these...

 Mumford and Sons- Sigh No More

 Bon Iver- For Emma, Forever Ago

(Anything and everything)- Jack Johnson

Love ya!

These are a few of my favorite things...

Ya know...

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

Work

"I never did anything worth doing by accident, nor did any of my inventions come by accident; they came by work." -Thomas Edison

In both of my history classes I've been learning about the Free Enterprise System and great inventions that changed America for the better. As I have been studying the lives and inventions of these well known inventors, a large respect for their work has been impressed upon me. "Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety nine percent perspiration," said by Thomas Edison, also. This quote proves that hard work and perseverance go much farther then true knowledge; however, intellect does prove to be helpful. For the next week or so I am going to be/ am drowning in books and paper writing. Fun for me, yet at the same time I am reminded by this great inventor, that if I put my mind to learning, it can be done. It can be done well.

P.S. Count of Monte Cristo paper. Prepare to be DOMINATED.

P.S.S. And 6 tests/ quizzes...

You Might Be a Redneck if...

You own a homemade fur coat


The Salvation Army declines your mattress


Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat


You pick your teeth from a catalog


You take a fishing pole into Sea World


Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle


Your front porch collapses and kills more than five dogs

We say those words but we don't look into each others eyes...

I don't know what to say about today. Its a sad holiday when you're lacking in the relationship department. But I can say Valentines Day is a lot more then telling that boy you like, well that you like him. Its for more then telling her she's pretty. Valentines Day is for telling someone dear and close to you that you love them. So take this opportunity and call your closest friends (maybe not just your close friends) and tell them you love them. Tell them you're thinking of them and that they are special to you. Tell your best friend he/ she is awesome and that you'd be lost without them. Think of something, but seize your chance for non-awkward-ness and tell someone you love them.

And, I love you.

P.S.

Ray LaMontagne, congrats on having (one) of the top 5 best songs of the year. I'm so glad someone had good enough taste in music to nominate you. You're wonderful!

Back in the Saddle Again...

Today I have found myself consumed with homework... I suppose now that spring is trying to push through the cold, I shall be going to school more often. However because we haven't gone to school for a full week since the very beginning of December its catch up time. Oh YAY.
Dear 500 word stupid essay, could you please write yourself? That would be cool. Thanks.


Here's to you, if you're studying late tonight or writing a literary critique. I wish you all the best. If you're not... enjoy yourself. Happy Homework!

Cause I'm NOT leavin' on a jet plane...

Its been almost three months since I've been on a trip. A trip longer then the weekly drive to church, and I'm dying because of it. I don't go this long without going somewhere and its bothering me. I'm sure you're thinking I'm such a brat for this, and yeah I probably am but I really don't care. I love to go places, travel and meet new people. It will be soon, and very soon that I do go somewhere, but on a lazy weekend such as this I yearn to be somewhere else. I don't fly on a monthly basis or anything, but I would monthly take a trip to see my dad or siblings and now that I live so far away from them its an impossible feat for a short weekend trip. Okay I probably just want to go to Tulsa, because I miss it so darn much. But then again a nice long car or plane ride to anywhere would suit me just fine, too.

Guys, don't forget its Valentines Day Monday... Or Singles Awareness Day. Wherever you may find yourself. Nonetheless don't forget to buy your woman something nice. Or not nice. I don't know just don't forget.

Have you ever wondered...

If anyone ever found Waldo? Why we couldn't all fly to Never land? If James Buchanan was really a homosexual? Has anyone ever made it to Narnia? What's in Abby's Caf- Pows? Why we push away the ones we love and cherish the most? What's not to love about Johnny Depp? Why the end pieces of bread are such a disappointment? Why reading our Bible is so much harder then any other book? How Sour Patch Kids got so good? Why cell phone contracts are so long? Why would someone try to kill Bob Marley? Why America hasn't agreed for an hour nap break? Why I don't have a pair of Solo HD Product RED beats? Where the silver lining is on a cloud? How come we don't dress like we live in the twenties? Why its so difficult for people to believe in truth? What makes saying "I Love You" is so hard? Why picking out fruit is such a life changing decision? Why in the world food poisoning exists? Why we generally always live too far away from our families? Why are Ewan McGregor and Joseph Gordon Levitt not in more movies? How the heck is Taylor Swift famous? When will I ever see my sister? Why Vibram 5 Fingers make your feet feel so happy? What made Edgar Allen Poe so crazy? Why we collect things? Why women wear painful shoes?  How some people live on The Golden Arches? Why people thrive on other people's issues? Why onions make you cry? Why you don't tell him how you feel? Why the whole world doesn't live on the beach? Why I'm not sleeping?

I do believe in fairies, I do, I do!

"never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting"

-Peter Pan

Lately...

Results of a sunny weekend... Come back warm sunny weather. 

ITS LIKE CHRISTMAS!

I love Superbowl Sunday. It brings as much joy as Christmas morning. Although Christmas is not my favorite holiday... So I suppose Superbowl Sunday is more like the Fourth Of July, which is my favorite holiday. I wish I could say I was spending the day at my best friends house, like last year. However my day will be spent with my wonderful family, vegetable trays, heavenly chocolate cake, and the Packers killing the Steelers. I really hope the Steelers loose. They knocked the Eagles out of the Divisional playoffs and I want them to LOOSE. So... GO PACK GO!

Are you sporting the Cheese Head or are you being lame and rooting for that other team... Whatever their name is?

Merry Superbowl Sunday!

You're really cool

Mater: I KNEW IT! I knowed I made a good choice
Lightening McQueen: In What?
Mater: My bes' frien!

Thank you for making me smile at 9:13 and reminding me that in the midst of the insanity of life I can still smile and remember that life is too short. Thank you for bringing the innocence of a statement like that and making me feel loved and appreciated. You are the bestest friend in the whole wide world!

T-Town

They say you don't know what you've got 'till its gone. That so true and I'd give anything to be back in this wonderful city. I miss you Tulsa and I miss you wonderful Tulsa people.

Beards and Folk

Recently I've been on this Folk music kick. Folk music is wonderful, its relaxing and pure ingenuity. What makes folk music so wonderful? The cool guys with beards who sing it. I know... how shallow is that? I like folk music for the lead singers' (or the whole band) beards. That's not wholly true. I like folk music because its chill, it makes me happy, it makes me feel like I should be in the woods during the summer time. Or sitting in a bookstore with a good cup of tea. Whichever you prefer.

Some of you are probably rolling your eyes and thinking "WOW, Rachel has taken a bad dive off the cliff and she's going crazy. Folk music is insane and who likes beards?!" Please ditch all of those thoughts from your head, right now. Mumford and Sons came along and now I am utterly in love. Its not country. ABSOLUTELY NOT. Country music makes me want to cry and throw up. Folk is banjo, amazing voices, and music brilliancy. People who listen to folk music are a special type of person. Kudos and bonus points to you if you listen to it, if you don't you should. I am here to help and support you if you need some help getting started, but folk music (and slow acoustic) music is the way to go. Its the stuff, kids.

If you can't tell I am a little bit in love with folksy music. I am actually just in love with music in general. Thanks God for cool guys with beards who look like lumber jacks with angelic voices.

Have a happy Thursday Evening.

Quarky

My personality is very quarky. There are so many weird, random things about me. So guess what? I am going to make a list about my weirdness.

Weirdness #1. I cannot start apples on my own. I really don't understand this, I know I am small but I am totally aware my mouth is not. This puzzles me, but someone always has to take the first bite.
#2. I do not sleep with a pillow. Since I have really bad back issues it bothers me to sleep with a pillow, their awkward and its more comfortable to lay flat.
#3. My favorite thing to do is lay on my bed and listen to music. Not just listen to music, but HEAR the music. There's so much we aren't hearing when we listen to a song, and I like to lay around and think about it.
#4. I drink 4-5 cups of tea a day. I wish I had been born a Brit.
#5. I like the idea of books, I like what's in them; however the idea of reading and reading itself bores me (though I wish it didn't).
#6. I eat really well with chopped sticks. Very well...
#7. I don't like driving. Its super boring, you can't take in the scenery very easily.
#8. I have 25 pairs of shoes and wear about three of them, occasionally I wear the others.
#9. Rainy days beat out sunny ones any time. Rain is ma favorite!
#10. I could my live life in my room. Almost always alone, as long as I had skype. I basically do live here, but I would probably be okay if I didn't leave for a long time...

These are ten things I could think of off the top of my head, but I know there are many more. I am sorry about the lists, you're probably bored with them. I will try to write more often... in paragraph form. Hope you're not stranded in snow! If you are  listen to the top ten albums on itunes, minus 8 and 10. Most importantly 1 and 3. Okay that was random.
Have a happy day.

Name That Song!

Hello ladies and germs! Its nice to have you here to play some... FINISH THAT SONG! The goal is to guess as many lyrics as you can without looking up or at the answers. Lets see how well you know your music.


Song:


1. It’s in the way you’re always hiding from the light, see for yourself you have been sitting on a time bomb.
2.Has the sweet breeze blown? Has all kindness gone? Hope still lingers on.
3. All of my life I've been in hiding, wishing there were someone just like you.
4. See your face every time I dream, On every page, every magazine. So wild so free so far from me.
5. We've got to move you darlin' I thought I lost you somewhere but you were never really there at all.
6. What I want you've got that it might be hard be hard to handle. Like a flame that burns a candle or the candle feeds the flame.

7. Just steal it, Take a piece of the sun and drink it.
8.No I'm not color blind, I know the world is black and white, try to keep an open mind but,
I just can't sleep on this tonight.

9. Its in the water, its where you came from.

10. And when you speak, angels speak from above. Every word seems to turn into love songs.
11.You were a child, crawlin' on your knees toward it. Makin' mama so proud, but your voice was too loud. 

12. Darkness is a harsh term, don't you think? And yet it dominates the things I see.

13. Lonely like a sailor, who's left his girl back home. No storm could overtake the love he knows.

14. Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash. New car, caviar, four star daydream. 

15. And leave a voice mail message to try and make amends, all the while hoping things would work out in the end.

16. Good friends we have had, oh good friends we've lost along the way,
In this bright future you can't forget your past.

17. I went out walking with a bible and a gun, the word of God laid heavy on my heart.

18. and if a Double Decker bus crashes into us to die by your side would be a heavenly way to die.

19. You are the apple of my eye, forever you'll stay in my heart.

20. The more you see the less you know, the less you find out as you go.





Answers:


1. Break it Down Again- Tears for Fears
2. The World I Know- Collective Soul
3. Deliver Me- David Crowder Band 
4. Photograph- Def Leppard
5. Here is Gone- Goo Goo Dolls
6. You Make my Dreams- Hall and Oats
7. Red Wine, Mistakes, Mythology- Jack Johnson
8. Stop This Train- John Mayer
9. Radioactive- Kings Of Leon
10. La Vie En Rose- Louis Armstrong (listen to that song if you know what's good for you)
11. Kids- MGMT
12. Roll Away Your Stone- Mumford and Sons (I'm Obsessed with this band)
13. Won't Turn Back- Needtobreathe
14. Money- Pink Floyd
15. This Week The Trend- Relient K
16. No Woman, No Cry- BOB MARLEY.
17. The Wanderer- Johnny Cash (and U2)
18. There is a Light That Never Goes Out- The Smiths
19. You are the Sunshine of My Life- Stevie Wonder
20. City Of Blinding Lights- U2


Let me know how you did! 

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle"

I was reading one of my favorite blogs and this quote appeared. It stuck me so hard. I am not the only one with problems. I'm not the only one with worries or insecurities and as a result I need to love unconditionally. Through the past few years I've learned that people "attack" you or hurt you because they've got a heart full or problems constantly tugging at them. Of course my first reaction is to be rude and mean when they are that way to me, but I need to respond with the love of Jesus. Jesus would be kind. He would be considerate. His heart would be filled with sorrow and pain... for that person. I want to follow God wholeheartedly and with the way I tend to treat some undeserving people, that's not going well. I want to learn to "Be Kind" and always have a nice word for the person who doesn't have one for me.

NERD.

Okay, I have a confession to make. I am a die hard math nerd. Before this year I never really like school and math was on my list of "things to loathe" and now. I love it. My teacher, who's name will remain anonymous, has helped me immensely and now its just great! I am such a nerd. Its bad. Its really bad. So bad that I want to be a math minor... and a business major. Business majors take tons of math courses.

I really am okay with this nerdy thing, its kind of... cool? Ha! Yeah never mind.

Anyways. I just felt that I should let you in on my life secrets. So there you have it. I love math, I am a math nerd, and I am PROUD!

The End.

P.S. What's something super nerdy about you? (The first step to helping your condition is by admitting your problem.)

My Glorious

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxGBhjDPvn4

This song gives me goose bumps... its so wonderful and powerful. Please listen to the words carefully and believe them.

What do cows do on Friday nights?

They go to the MOOOOOOVIES. Betsy, I miss our inside jokes.

That's besides the point. This is a post about movies. And these are my favorites.

1) GLADIATOR. There is nothing wrong with this movie. It is the greatest movie ever made. Russel  Crowe is a just a beast. Its just wonderful. So wonderful.

2) Julie and Julia- This movie is precious, wonderfully cast, and just makes me smile. I want to be so happily married like those two women. Overall amazing movie.

3) 500 Days of Summer- Hilarious. Realistic. Best. Soundtrack. Ever.

4) Inception- Should I explain myself? I mean really? That movie will just blow your mind. Its amazing and you should see it if you haven't. For sure.

5) Bourne Movies- STUD. Their just intensely amazing. I LOVE those movies. Matt Damon... Kudos.

6) When Harry Met Sally and You've Got Mail- I really think these can be put in the same categories. They are so funny and really cute. Meg Ryan you are wonderful.

7) Peter Pan (The human version)- I love Peter Pan, its always been my favorite Disney movie and the innocence of the story is too great.

8) Salt- I want to be her.

9) My Fair Lady- Audrey Hepburn is my hero. Even though Julie Andrews was first choice, it was a good decision to choose Audrey who didn't have such a queenly air about her. However either would have been fine. (That was no slight on Julie Andrews, she's golden!)

10) Public Enemies- Whoever decided to put Christian Bale and Johnny Depp together... I celebrate the day you were born.

What are some of your favorite movies?

Satan Bird

Once upon a time (today) I was standing in the kitchen, enjoying my afternoon tea when I say something walking around in my back yard. When I went to see what it was I realized it was a satanic bird that was about to come attack and burn down my house. okay. Maybe not burn it down. But attack me. And my dog. Yes only my dog because my mom and grandfather thought it was COOL! what. the. heck. After mom and I were carrying on about how weird this thing was grandpa got put to have a look for himself. He said it looked hurt, hungry, and cold. I think it looked like an ugly bird about to eat me, walking around in my back yard. (something to know about my mom and grandpa, every animal is a pet. Every animal deserves food, a home, and love) I could really care less if the ugly thing was out there dead. It has a double beak, its super huge, and I will have nightmares about it for another month. Anyways, because it looked "hurt and hungry" I was nominated to go feed the stupid thing. In the snow. Up hills both ways? I took a cup of bird seed and chucked it out in the yard after I was a good 50 feet away from the Devil... I mean bird.
The thing was disgusting. We fed it... WHY!? Now it has a home. Someone come save me.

If you know what this thing is, please call me. I am now the heartless bird hater, and I won't loose any sleep over it. At all.
The End.

P.S. God made animals to live outside. (Accept dogs, cats and a few others as good pets) He feeds them and takes care of them. That's His job and He does it a heck of a lot better then me!

10 Things I love about life.

I'd like to take a moment and explain that Jesus did not make this list. He is the reason I know how to love these things because He first taught me how. He is my World, without Him I know I would be nothing. I didn't want to limit Him and put Him on a list. My relationship with Him is more important to me then anything else I know. Okay. Now that we nailed that to the floor... Here is ten things I just love. Love a lot. About mah life!

1. My Family- Family is not the sharing of DNA, its a compelling love we share for one another.

2. My Sister- Really. Is there anything better then your sister? She doesn't compare to anyone and never could. I love her with all my heart.

3. My Bestest and Closest Friends- You know who are, and trust me. You've blessed me more then I could ever express. I love you all so much. (Even if you are a Redneck)

4. Music- If I start professing my love to you about Music it will be like listening to "Back In My Day Stories..." Lord knows we don't want any of that.

5. Traveling, Going Places, Living Places- I love to discover new locations. I love to meet new people. I love seeing weird animals I didn't know existed. Okay not really. I don't like weird animals. BUT nonetheless I love to travel.

6. Relationships- With people in general. Since I live in front of my computer, at bookstores, and at school I have no room to tell you about those kind of relationships. Its good to be a nerd! Anyways. I love the fact God has made us to love. Its wonderful to be involved in the lives of others. I love loving people.

7. FOOD- Oh yes. Food is happiness. Especially Tea, Bread, Garlic, Cream, and BUTTER. There is nothing better then butter. If I had the choice to eat butter or die I think I would choose butter. I think.

8. Books- I don't know what to say about books? There's a lot to say about books. I love my Bible, that's a favorite. And cook books. Like Mastering the Art of French Cooking.

9. Rain and Sun- Rain is really great accompanied by a nice book and lovely cup of tea. Its nice to watch and even better to walk around in. And the pictures are great. But when Sun is involved you want to sinnnnnnng. And smile. And get wicked tan. And just be happy.

10. My Life- I love the life God has given me. I know its a great one, and I know there's a lot to do in it. I can't wait to see what I am going to be doing and I am glad to be here living. Life.

The American Poet

I am deeply in love with Robert Frost. He's amazing. He's sensational. He's wonderful! I could read Robert Frost poetry until the day I died... The way he used literary ingenuity to portray a simplistic and everyday idea is mind blowing. Frost was thoughtful, he was smart and he was NOT insane which is very refreshing when almost every other poet is. I just love Robert Frost. 


The Road Not Taken 

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Every time I open my "Robert Frost Reader"I have to read this poem. A sense of thoughtfulness, sorrow,and even pain penetrates through and through, providing you with a feeling of being completely lost as 

you read. Its beauty in words. 

Oh, How I love you Robert Frost. 

Book Stores

Where I live there is an abundance of book stores. This is a really good thing for two people, such as my mother and I, who just simply love to read. I don't know what it is but there is something wonderful about walking around a good book store with a warm cup of tea in your hand, surrounded my hundreds of different stories. Book stores give me a sense of comfort and peace. The thought that there are so many stories to be read, things to be learned, and pages to discover is intriguing. My favorite stores are the kind where the shelves reach the ceiling and you can easily get lost in one aisle of books for a solid 3 hours. People have something to say, and the way they choose to say it is what makes the experience so interesting. Biographies, Novels, Poetic Works, Memoirs and many other writings are just the simple ways people choose to reveal a part of their lives to the world. I will forever have a love for book stores and the content within them.


"You can't get a cup of tea big enough or a book long enough to suit me." - C.S. Lewis 

My Chains Are Gone

Please read the words carefully and know that you are saved by Jesus' grace. 


Amazing grace how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace

My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God who called me here below
Will be forever mine, will be forever mine
You are forever mine


This song has changed my life, its says so much so simply.